Thoughts about a song I loved at 15…

]Today I just found a folder on my computer which had in it almost all the songs I listened to at 15-17. I pondered how long ago that feels to have been as I loaded the playlist into my winamp. Looking back I guess I did not change much… Back then I had this huge inventory of sad songs with melancholic topic. My taste was a bit wider than it is today. Nowadays I am all for goth and metal, but I guess the thematic preoccupation has not changed much. Anyway, I guess what I am getting at is I found Rehab’s “Red water” in the list.

I wonder what I used to think it means, but I remember thinking it was a little silly. The song is about a man who recalls the time he was 12 and had this, rich organized, happy neighbour who was the luckiest man alive – he assumed- with the most beautiful wife, tidy house, brilliant job, happy son and all the wealth a 12 year old could dream of once having. Then one day this neighbour went home, laid back in his bath and opened up his veins… The song expresses this inconsistency between what can be seen, what cannot and what can never be unseen.

Listening to this song now, I do not think it is silly at all. It is rather mind-wrenching to hear lines like:

“And he was laying in an overflowing bathtub of red water
The first and the last time he ever relaxed
And they said, he had a smile on his face
His final offer, the steam on the mirror said
One more thing to say”

I do not mean to put down an analysis of the song, but these lines say all about it that can be said. But I understand a new aspect since then, that is humans were not created to live the way they do. The only chance to relax (while we are trying to gather riches or just earn enough to buy all the products that we are told we need) should not be while we are bleeding out in a bath… We are not meant to be the pretentious, malicious, shallow little things we pretend to be… which implies that too many things are left unspoken so badly that the steam on the mirror knows more about us than we know about each other – or sometimes even – ourselves.

See, these lines are the confessions of the most ‘un-brave’ person there is in this world right now. A person who cannot calm herself with inspirational quotes about how we should shoot for the stars… because I just want to stay on the ground. A person who craves to just put this computer away, sell her things and just build a hut in the forest and reunite with nature… and is still unable to do that. I guess the reason I love series like The Walking dead is the concept of man re-thrown into nature…  Maybe when I get older I can just give it a try, who knows. I guess all I meant to say is how well this song depicts this corrupted human nature. It makes me think of something ‘biblical’…

We always think the fruit we were not supposed to eat in Eden was an apple. I wonder why, but anyway apples and men have something peculiar in common, that is, we can still look okay from the outside while the worms are chewing us from the inside. I wonder how our beautiful red apple of a society will last anyway.

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